Jimmy's Weekly

Dear All Readers,

 If you remember, I am Jimmy, Chloe's pet Unicorn and I can also tell you that she is not Queen of the Unicorns in real life, but she is on www.wattpad.com. Go check her out or trust me, she'll cry and I'll have to feed her more than I should. So I am her 'conscience', I help her make her blogs exciting, but she doesn't do my bidding. She'll go ever so crazy and she will type non-logical things. So I do apologize for her behavior. This week I will be telling you more about Chloe on her request. She doesn't like to go into important things you see. So, where shall we begin on our little misfit? Why don't we give you a character profile?


Full Name: Chloe Robertson Porter
Age: 13 (Although, she hardly acts like it!)
Gender: Female
Star Sign: Libra
Birth date: 20th October 1999
Secret Talent: Talking to Unicorns, Seeing Unicorns and the ability to draw pretty pictures
From: Glasgow, Scotland
Physical Description: Ginger hair, blue eyes, 5'2-5'3, Happy most of the time and she is a chubby bunny
Style: Baggy tops, Skinny jeans and pumps

 So that is a short profile on her, I hope you now can picture Chloe. If you can't, here she is in a photo:

Chloe Porter! <3

BARNEY IS GHETTO???

Dear You,

 So, you have decided to come back to your 5 mins of weirdness? Well, I hope you have been vaccinated... Cos I am about to infect you with SS (stupid syndrome!) Has it ever occurred to you that you are listening to a thirteen year old girl who has a pet unicorn...? What do you MEAN 'Unicorns don't exist'?!!! Of course they do! I have a unicorn! Her name is Yankee Doodle! Only Joking! Her name is Jimmy... Jimmy tells me all the rights and wrongs of writing a blog... But knowing me I'll write about food... Food.... Fooooood.... I'm hungry now, one minute!

-5 hours later-

Oh, you mad bro? I was pretty hungry and Jimmy wanted PBJ sandwhich... WHAT CAN A GIRL DO?!!! I mean, people call me 'the panda' for some reason... Probably cos I tripped and gave myself a pair of black eyes... Wait... That's not that funneh... IT WAS FREAKING HILARIOUS!!! XD I mean, they wouldn't call me panda cos I eat to much and will probably die young!

But let's think about it THIS way, I wouldn't be racist!

I'm Black
I'm White
I'm Asian
AND I AM GHETTO AS BARNEY THE DINO! (Cos he's pretty ghetto!)

I mean, listen to these lyrics Barney was REALLY thinkin'!

I love you
You love me
Let's tie that kid to a tree
With a knife through it's back
And a bullet through it's head
Sorry children, the kid is dead!

I mean, that is pretty damn ghetto!

So why are panda's ghetto?

COS IT TAKES BALLZ TO BE ABLE TO HAVE A BLACK / WHITE GANGSSSS!!!

OH YEAH!!!

No ... I am not racist... I am a unicorn... Remember that!

AND A PANDA! :OOO

BECAUSE PANDAS. ARE. EPICCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC!!!

And I mean, kids hate Barney, exspecially if they make THESE lyrics!

Barney is a dinosaur with no imagination
Stick a finger up his bum and dies of constapation! :D

Take it away Harreh!

*Harry Styles looking at me wide eyed thinkin': 'Dafuq is wrong with this chick???!!!'*

YOU THOUGHT YOU WERE WEIRD???!!! Oh... You ain't seen NOTHING yet!! >:DDD

Tune in next time for more weirdness and stupidity!

Luv frum,
C H L O E      T H E        P A N D A        /         U N I C O R N

Welcome

Dear All You Stupid People Who Decide To Listen To Me,

 I'm Chloe Porter and I am currently thirteen years old. I am a recent teen and I will always tell you how I feel about the world so YOU know how it is to be a teen today! It is currently 1:30 am on the 18th May 2013, so let's get us started on our journey of the worst (and best) years of my life! To continue reading my blogs, why don't you click 'next page' (if I have uploaded) and I will see your faces in my life next time!


Luv,
Confused Teen who probably has a brain problem!
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